jamie ann

We are going to keep this one quick because I’m still not all that interested in this show anymore. I just heard a rumor about last night and had to see if it was true! So their challenge is to see what it feels like to be behind the camera. They photograph Paulina and the winner gets 50 extra shots. Fatima ends up winning the challenge and the extra frames. This is the first challenge she has ever won.

For the photo shoot, they are shooting with Nigel. Kind of like 50s glam being chased by the paparazzi with their boyfriends or however they explained it. Anya (it must mean something that every time I try to type Anya, I always end up writing Anyway. hmm…) has a bit of an advantage because she has shot with Nigel before when she won the 7UP nude shot.

On to the photos.

Continue reading »

I really hate this show now. I don’t know why I watch it. I really thought last cycle was the worst it could ever get, but I was so wrong. How tranny crypt keeper looking Dominique has made it to the final four, is beyond me. Seriously. Beyond. Me. Why Tyra is so far up this dude’s ass has me ever more puzzle. No one in their right mind would ever book her old ass. She makes the ugliest faces.

Anya is the only good one left. She can’t talk though. Her voice is annoying and she is obviously not the brightest crayon in the crayon box.

Fatima is improving but is also annoying, I suppose she is second best.

Whitney needs to close her mouth when she is taking pictures.

Kat, well Kat is pretty but rather dull.

Tyra needs to stop with her “accents” and with this shit:

I’m not even going to recap this shit because I’m annoyed.

Bottom two?

Continue reading »

The girls finally arrive in Italy and go on fashion tour…on Segways. But before they reach the Segways, Anya falls. HARD. She misses some steps and falls on her face. I made the boyfriend rewind it twice so I could watch it over and over. Once they got to the Segways, I was pretty much expecting a little Italian car to run down a bunch of models in the street because they took over the damn thing.

Their challenge is to impress Gai Mattiolo. But first they are given Italian makeovers. I think Kat and Lauren look the best out of all the girls. Gia Mattiolo manages to say something nice about each girl, even runway impaired Lauren. He does say that Dominique doesn’t look “fresh” which is code for – Bitch looks old. Finally someone sees this. Anyway, Anya wins this challenge even though she is “very blond” and wins a red carpet dress which will totally wash her out. Her skin and hair and the dress were pretty much all the same color. Everyone is jealous because Anya has been kicking their asses in challenges. But seriously, she has – nudie shot with Nigel, 7UP, 10 grand…kicking your asses.

Continue reading »

After that awful waste of time recap episode last week, we are back! This week Paulina comes to have a heart to heart with the girls about personality and being interviewed and blah blah. Their challenge was to shine on the red carpet and at a 7UP event. Does anyone drink 7UP, unless it is being mixed in something or if their tummy hurts? Seriously.

Continue reading »

“You are so lucky.”

It seems my girl, Lauren, has a bit of a temper. I think Fatima is awful and all, but I don’t think she deserved to be on the receiving end of all that! Also, the Tyra mail? I think Lauren is just as fed up with the screaming and running and say…ing…each…word…real…ly…slow..ly as the rest of us. I have said it before and someone always mentions it in the comments, HOW FREAKING ANNOYING IS THAT?! That shit better not be around next cycle because I have already had it with this show and don’t know how much more I can take!

This weeks challenge is go sees. This time they break them up in to teams to do it. Of course, Lauren can’t walk. Whitney is too plus sized. Blah-di-blah-di-blah. Stacy Ann, Claire, Dominique and Whitney’s team win. Their prize? A summer beauty shoot in Seventeen magazine. Dominique proceeds to babble about how she was 5 and always wanted to be in Seventeen or some nonsense. Too bad the bitch looks about 50, so the whole 17 thing? I don’t think so.

The photo shoot is some weird plasticy floor sheet with water on it and they have be fluid and move gracefully while being shot from below. On to the photos.

Continue reading »

This is going to be a quick one before I go to bed.

Tyra decided to make an appearance this episode and teach the girls to express themselves through pain. Menstrual pain, you’ve been choked, forced to watch Tyra act like a freaking idiot for 10 cycles now — all the same thing. Whatever, Anya’s weird looking ass won the posing challenge. Her prize? A nude shoot with Nigel Barker.

*Sidenote: the amount of hits I get asking what Anya’s accent is, is pretty funny. For the record, she is from Hawaii, but is Russian.*

Anyway, for the photo shoot each girl was given a genre of music to portray. Here we go!

Continue reading »

Things we learned/confirmed in this episode:

- Dominique is a fucking idiot
- “plus size” girls CAN do the splits
- someone stole Lauren’s shoes
- Tyra is ridiculous

Continue reading »

This also could be titled: The One Where PETA Flips the Fuck Out.

Models are pieces of meat? I guess Tyra thinks a little too literally with this one. She had them literally wear meat. I am completely surprised no one started crying because they are vegetarian or vegan. It was pretty awful watching.

Before we get to that, the girls have walking lesson with Ms. Jay. A lot of these girls can’t walk. Off the top of my head, Amis, Fatima, Lauren stick out the most. Then we have our resident sexpot, Katarzyna. She won the walking challenge, but I think her walk is too bouncy. If only I had Paint on my MacBook, I’d be drawing all over this picture pointing out the firefighters’s expressions. You know their wives and girlfriends hate Tyra so much for this shit.

Also, every time the girls get a Tyra Mail, we all get a little dumber. We lose brain cells. What was wrong with one girl reading the note from Tyra from a piece of paper? Now we have ” da da da da da da da da LOOOOOVE TYRA!” in unison and super slow.

Continue reading »

I’ve been all wrapped up with Project Runway’s finale this week, that I forgot to blog America’s Next Top Model. DS totally set me in me place and was basically like NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR PUPPY! WHERE IS ANTM?! Of course, she was much nicer about it though. So because I kind of love DS, I’m going to get right on it.

This week’s episode is basically one of the only episodes that matter. Yes, while Tyra’s antics keep us entertained all season, this is what we all wait for. And my by we, I mean…me. Well, this time Tyra decided she wasn’t going to tell them what she was doing before hand and just kind of made fun of them in a little box while they were getting their makeover.

First we have Anya. They bleached the hell out of Anya’s hair and now she has no eyebrows. She is kind of reminding me of one of the Malfoys now.

Continue reading »

I have a serious case of puppy brain. I know some of you are probably like, “if I have to read about that damn dog one more time, I kicking this bitch out of my google reader!”. I know, I know. I promise it won’t be puppy talk all day, every day. So I think I may have reached the height of my internet fame a few days ago. I left a comment on Dooce talking about what else? Puppies, of course. I mean seriously though, have you seen Coco? She’s probably the second cutest pup in the world, next to my own Edie. And that Chuck, he’s so refined. Edie flops around eating her food, occasionally standing in her bowl while eating. Seriously, I can’t get enough of the puppehs. Anyway, I got an insane amount of hits from that comment. INSANE. Well, insane for my little blog at least.

All I’m saying is:

If you blog pups..they will come.

It has just been proven.

__________

For those of you with no souls, that do not care about puppies, I’m changing the subject. I’m gonna talk more about crazy ass Tyra and ANTM this week since I didn’t write about it yesterday.

Tyra knows what it is like to be homeless because she was once…wait, no, because she once did a show about it. If that isn’t personal experience, I don’t know what is. Cameras following you and you’re face is made up to look dirty and homeless? Then go get chauffeured home to your ginormous mansion and sip mimosas while you wipe your ass with twenty dollar bills. Exactly the same thing, right? Yeah, so anyway.

Continue reading »