jamie ann

Remember back in the day when you wanted to get all crafty and make cool art projects as a kid and it took blood, sweat and tears?

Personally, I’m not very crafty at all. I definitely wish I was so I can make super pretty things like Kerri or Morgan or Tia. But alas, can’t draw, can’t paint, can’t sculpt, can’t craft, can’t anything. I basically fail at making cute things.

(But I can definitely find them.)

Anyway, did anyone else ever color a whole sheet of paper with different colors and then take a black crayon over the whole thing? Like you had to press really hard and then your hand would hurt and cramp up and then you’d get all mad and be like FUCK THIS CRAFTY SHIT. Except you were probably younger and didn’t say fuck but you get the point.

Then once you covered the whole thing with black crayon you would scratch a design on it using a paper clip or whatever you had on hand and it would show up all multicolored and pretty. Then you would be all proud because it may have taken 8 years to color that WHOLE page and THEN color over it again with black and THEN make a design but it sure as hell looked awesome.

(You didn’t do that? Okay, maybe I was just kind of ghetto but whatever. Go try it, then come back and finish this entry.)

Well, imagine my surprise when I walked into my babysitting job this week and found this on the counter:

A notepad filled with this shiny black paper that you would draw on with a special  marker  and the crazy colors and designs would just show up.

LIKE MAGIC.

No crayons. No hand cramping. No paperclips. No real paper.

NO HARD WORK.

Kids these days have it effing easy, man.

This was pretty much my face when I found some in a special delivery from Nintendo.

Then I promptly burst into a fit of giggles because I HAVE ONION GOGGLES.

Today I’ve spent a lot of time outside with Edie. We’re both pretty thrilled spring is officially here.

It’s just been too nice out to be stuck inside. We were getting cabin fever. Or at least I was. I can’t take anymore cold weather and hibernation.

We played soccer. No, really. She plays soccer. I need to get it on video.

Sometimes it’s nice not working in an office. I doubt I could walk around barefoot, lay in the grass and play with my puppy if I did.

But I mean, if there is a better paying job out there with a little more stability where I could do that? Sign me up!

Completely cutting off ties with a parent is something you never think you will have to do in your life. And when you do, it’s one of the most disappointing feelings ever.

I’ve said before that I’ve never been exceptionally close with my mother. Things were fine and never really bad, we just weren’t super close like a lot of my friends are with their mothers. When she divorced my dad, it’s like a switch flipped inside her brain. She took no blame for anything. Everything was everyone else’s fault. No responsibility. Lies and accusations were thrown around. A conniving nature I never thought she could have took root.

My mother has been consistently trying to take my father to court for more money. Why she needs more money when she has no one else to support but herself, I don’t know. But my dad’s pension is the prize and she has her eye on it. So much greed.

While I was in LA two weeks, she came over to my house and picked a fight with my dad. Then brought another family member over as “protection” or something saying my father is violent and abusive. My dad never raises his VOICE let alone a hand to someone. He is a true hippy in every sense of the word and one of the most laid back people you would ever meet. Not to mention, the stress isn’t good for him and his heart and he tries to avoid it. The day after this argument, my dad goes into the hospital because he had a heart attack. The day before my birthday. Stressed out much? And what does my mother say? Oh, that my dad orchestrated all of this so he wouldn’t have to pay her money she “deserves”.

Yes, lady, my dad went out of his way to check into the hospital, have a heart attack, surgery and went on disability JUST to get out of giving you money.

Exactly.

On my birthday, she calls to wish me a happy birthday and tell me she loves me which is all a big, fake, front considering I haven’t talked to her in months and it’s all part of her sad, pathetic sob story she feeds everyone. (Yes, we see straight through it, mother.) Completely incensed, I picked up the phone for the first time in a long time and let her have it. I told her exactly what I thought of her and her greedy, selfish ways and that I don’t appreciate what she said about my father. Yet, somehow, in her twisted little mind, it’s all my fault.

“You’re just so unhappy with yourself, Jamie”.

I may be a lot of things but I am far from unhappy. I have amazing friends, awesome brother, sister and father, get paid to write, RPattz knows I exist and am offered incredible opportunities because I have a blog? (Let’s face it, I’M FUCKING AWESOME.)

Yeah, that definitely gives me reason to be unhappy and jealous of my mother. Because that’s what she wishes it was like. I write a post about how she is obsessed with her weight (only one tiny part of her crazy) and she reads it and she assumes it’s jealousy.

OR SHE’S JUST CRAZY.

(I told her that too)

She has this web of lies and sad songs she tells anyone who will listen so they will feel sorry for her and take her side so I’m assuming how horrible and disrespectful her daughter is got tacked on to it. Don’t forget about the big, mean blog she writes just to make her mother cry.  Oh and that her ex-husband is brainwashing her children into not loving her. Anyone with half a brain can see straight through it but clearly she hangs out with some winners if they believe this nonsense.

This whole game of hers, left me wanting nothing to do with her. I got a new number that she won’t ever get. When I move, I’m not telling her where. Completely cut off. It really is a shame and even more so because in her mind, she still thinks she is the victim here.

And last time I checked, I was a grown ass, intelligent woman who could think and form opinions for myself. And so can your other children (buying them off will only last for so long).

As for respect?

That’s something you have to earn.

(edited to add: While this whole situation sucks and I’m disappointed in her behavior, I’m perfectly okay with this decision. The less stress and drama in my life the better. So no, this isn’t a cry for attention or my own sob story. It’s just getting things out and moving on.)

My favorite car is a 1967 Ford Mustang Fastback. This is probably due to the fact that my dad has two Mustangs he has been steadily restoring over the past few years, a 1965 and a 1967. They are loud, fast and pretty cars.

So when I was invited to come out to LA to go on the 2011 Ford Mustang Drive, I couldn’t say no. I mean, I had to go if only for the fact that I could make my dad incredibly jealous.

Let me preface this by saying, I don’t know much about cars. At all. I’m pretty sure can barely change a tire. And yet I was still invited to this, me with my blog on cute puppies and wishing I had an ass like Gaga but I had to go because new experiences and fast cars and all sorts of awesome were ahead. At first, I was a little thrown off and felt very much out of place because I was one of the only girls, definitely the youngest and one of the few not writing for a big media outlet. But I went with it because I was obviously invited for a reason, right?

We started out Day One with a presentation telling us about the new features and upgrades to the car. The one that sticks out in my head most is fuel efficiency. Well after that we had to pair up and got to hit the road in the V6. We picked our car, a gorgeous midnight blue convertible and we were off. At first I was a little nervous, driving in LA has always sounded pretty nightmarish but turns out we were hitting the scenic routes to really put the Mustangs to the test. It handled incredibly smoothly and quietly while driving round the curves and through the canyons. A definite change of pace for the SUV driving, city girl who is use to a noisy ride and gridlocked highways.

(Sorry for the crappy iPhone pic. I forgot my camera on day one)

That night there was a cocktail party at the hotel and in the parking lots they were giving demonstrations on the Sync system. Okay, now this was really neat. You can hook up your cell to it via Bluetooth (which we did and called my sister from the car) and everything is pretty much voice activated from the navigation to the radio or iPod. Also a very awesome feature is it has a USB hook up. Don’t feel like bringing your iPod around, well just throw some songs on a flash and you can listen to them using that. Plus, the whole system was incredibly easy. You’re not fiddling with the buttons and screaming at it saying NO, ACTUALLY I DID NOT WANT TO LISTEN TO NICKLEBACK, CAR. I mean, not that that has every happened to me before in other cars.

(crappy pic but there was a long row of Mustangs in the hotel parking lot waiting for us on day 2. It was awesome)

The next morning we had to be up very early for breakfast and I was exhausted. Driving around in a convertible in the sun is hard work, dudes. Or more like 3AM wake up call the day before to catch your flight into LA but whatever. That’s all besides the point! This day was all about the 5.0. Now this? This is a car.

(my redredred 5.0 V-8 convertible for day two)

I’ve always had a little a bit of a heavy foot while driving but getting behind the wheel of this one makes you want to drive even faster. It’s powerful. Even just a tap of the gas and the car would lurch forward. Hit the gas and it practically roars at you. I loved the sound. The V-8 such an incredibly, hot car. We had more scenic drives through than canyons and up and down the coast. It’s definitely the way to see California and how beautiful it is. When we finally pulled up to our final destination, I may or may not have walked away looking at it longingly.

(one of our stops was a small airport where you could drag the Mustang and Camaro in quarter miles to see how fast they go)

In short, the 2011 Ford Mustangs are incredible. Getting behind the wheel was so much fun and made me appreciate the car I love even more. I thought I was a Mustang girl before but dude, I’m completely sold now. If I lived somewhere where the winter’s weren’t so rough and was looking for a new car, I would absolutely consider one. Preferable convertible in the gorgeous smokey, grey color.

Many, many thanks to Ford for this amazing opportunity!

Disclosure: Ford provided airfare to LA and hotel for me to attend and drive the 2011 Ford Mustang. All opinions in this post are my own.

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I have a hard time throwing things away. No, it’s not like Hoarders all up in my living space but I do hold on to some things for sentimental reasons.

These ticket stubs go back years. Some a faded to where you can’t even read the print. This pile probably represents less than 1/4 of the amount of shows I’ve been to since most of them were at the smaller, hole in the wall venues that didn’t require paper tickets. Walk up, throw some cash at the door guy, x’s on hands if you’re underage and enjoy the show.

A couple weeks ago I pulled them all off my bulletin board but still have them tucked away because I can’t bear to throw them away. Some of my best memories happened at these shows – the people, the music, the energy, all of it – and I’d like to hold on to them in a tangible way.

I guess it’s kind of like they are all little pieces that help make up me today.