jamie ann

There isn’t anything in this world that I hate more than driving.

Except maybe that red velvet cupcakes aren’t their own food group, the fact that I’ll never be as adorable as Zooey Deschanel, and that there isn’t a job called Professional Book Reader / Lifetime Movie Watcher / Etsy Addict. Because let’s face it, I’d kill it at that job.

But back to driving.

Chicago drivers are ridiculous. And I always manage to get stuck behind the 90 year old people who shouldn’t be on the road driving 20 miles an hour. Or the dude that is just cruising, taking his damn time bumping music so loud that you can’t even enjoy it. Or the person who is from somewhere like Arkansas or Iowa (I have no idea why I picked those two states, I’m sorry if you are from Arkansas or Iowa) and is so enamored by the BIG TALL BUILDINGS that they are veering slightly off the road. Throw those in with Chicago cab drivers who have death wishes and weave in and out of traffic. And the semi-truck drivers I’m convinced want to kill me.

Then if there is any form of precipitation everyone LOSES THEIR SHIT and completely forgets how to drive (if they even knew how  in the first place). And don’t forget about construction. Traffic cones and gigantor pieces of machinery to dodge now too! It’s kind of like Frogger (minus the logs, turtles and lilypads, of course. But the traffic part, YES).

Don’t get me wrong, there are parts of driving I do like. Driving up Lakeshore Drive listening to good car music (everyone has good car music. Mine is currently: Jets to Brazil) and seeing my skyline in the distance is probably one of the best things ever. And at those moments, I realize how much I love my city.

But when I have to fight traffic and idiot drivers, I lose my patience. And not even Britney can save me at that point. It’s not a pretty sight. Trust.

And don’t get EVEN me started on the undeserved parking tickets.

Clearly, someone needs to invent the Professional Book Reader / Lifetime Movie Watcher / Etsy Addict job so I can get the hell out of the south side, closer to the el and not need a car anymore.