jamie ann August 2, 2009

I want to be a burlesque dancer when I grow up

Sunday, August 2nd, 2009

What?

Okay yeah, I know there are two huge things wrong with this dream of mine:

1) I have no rhythm and can’t dance very well (it takes a lot of alcohol to get me to the floor).
2) I’m like 3272034 pounds too overweight to be a burlesque dancer.

One of those issues could be resolved though and no, I don’t mean that I’m going take dance classes.

Let’s hit the gym, yo! I want me some fancy lingerie and boobie tassels!

(What?)

I’m sure many are wondering what brought the realization of this dream on. Well, my best friend (formerly known as the boy) was going to be playing VIP host for the night and very last minute managed to get me on the guest list for Ivan Kane’s Forty Deuce.

Forty Deuce is a burlesque show that is normally in Las Vegas at Mandalay Bay but I guess they have hit the road. So they were going to be at the Venue in the Horseshoe Casino which is all of a five minute drive from my house. What was really neat about it was how they mixed musical genres. It went from a “classic” burlesque set (Hey Big Spender) to a rock set (Pink Floyd’s The Wall) to a funk set (with some Kool and the Gang). And in between each “set”, there was an awesome DJ, Graham Funke, who is a resident at many Vegas clubs. I’ve seen him play before, he knows his shit.

Best part about it? Watching the show with best friend’s parents. While some might find that kinda awkward, I was all: whatevs, boobies bring people together. And then his mom loudly saying one of the girls had a “fat butt”. I almost died laughing.

All in all, it was a great show and a lot of fun. I wish I would have had more guest passes and notice and I would have invited some Chicago ladies along. It would have definitely been a great girls night outing!

ANYWAY.

Back to my future burlesque career.*

Watch your back, Dita Von Teese**. My boobie tassels will be better than yours one day.

* I think my career is ending before it even begins.
** Let’s just let Dita continue to think I’m a threat.

‘

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