camping is for sissys

June 12th, 2008 at 10:45 am . Posted in family .

Tents? Sleeping bags? Icky bugs? Cooking food over the fire? Being handed a roll of toilet paper and pointed to the woods? Jamie doesn’t fuck with that.

Pop up campers. People who come by and light the fire for you. Swimming pools. Actual bathrooms.  Yes yes yes and yes. Jamie likes. Also, know as sissy camping.

Well not so much anymore. I haven’t been “camping” in ages. When I was younger we would pack up our little Voyager mini van and pop up camper and hit the road. We were off! Off to Chesterton, Indiana? I know, I know, camping in Indiana? There was a campground called Sand Creek, that my family would go to all the time when we were younger

We’d drive up, stop in the store/office and get our little plot of camping space and get settled in. Of course, after we got the camper set up, we’d make a run to the nearest grocery store to stock up on food. Food that we would cook on our little stove. Inside our camper. I’d get some marshmallows and some chocolate bars to get the real feeling that I’m camping. I was totally justifying my fake camping, even at age 7 by making s’mores on the fire, even though someone from the campground would come by and light our fire at night.

Whatever, I’m camping, give me my s’mores!

Also, in the wilderness that was our campground, there was a game room with vending machines and PACMAN, a store full stocked with anything you might need while “camping”. There was a swimming pool, naturally. Attached to the pool were showers and bathrooms. Don’t forget about mini golf, duh. What would camping be without mini golf? NOTHING. Then of course, if we were feeling extra rugged that night, a hayride. A tractor with a trailer filled with bales of hay for you to sit on and drive through the campground, taking in all the sights.

I mean, I guess there were people that went into the woods to do “real” camping but how real is it if you have all the aforementioned things at your disposal? So I guess that means there are three kinds of camping – real camping, sissy camping and then “real” sissy camping. In “real” sissy camping, all you get is a tent and a sleeping bag but it’s still in the camp ground with the rest of us sissys.

Fake vacations and sissy camping.

That’s just how we rolled here at the House of Lovely.

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37 Comments ( Reply )

  1. Matt
    Jun 12, 2008 @ 10:51 am

    “Jamie doesn’t fuck with that”

    Hilarious. Im dying…

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  2. Amandab
    Jun 12, 2008 @ 10:56 am

    I’m with you. Working at a camp, where I got to stay in a cabin with a clean shower, is as intense as I get. One overnight outdoors a year is all I can handle.

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  3. Ohmygoshi
    Jun 12, 2008 @ 11:11 am

    oh no no no….my version of camping is a hotel with no room service. i can’t handle the outdoor camping…does not a happy ohmygoshi make.

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  4. katelin
    Jun 12, 2008 @ 11:12 am

    i think i’m a good combo of both. i sometimes can do the rugged camping in tents and deal with bugs and what have you. but then i like the tents with real bathroom, ah whatever as long as there’s alcohol and s’mores I’m good.

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  5. Allie
    Jun 12, 2008 @ 11:15 am

    See, I can’t handle the work of camping. I like it okay, but it’s kind of a pain. I like backpacking. You walk until you can’t walk, set up camp, make some crappy meal that tastes good because your hungry, and pass out until the next morning where you do it again. I love it. With camping, I feel like I’m trying to cook a good meal with crappy resources. And there’s a lot of sitting around. I don’t do well with that. Granted, we camp in a tent, but I think a pop up would feel like a lot of work too. Like trying to maintain the semblance of the comforts of home.

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  6. raych
    Jun 12, 2008 @ 11:36 am

    i LOVE camping! but Hell Nah with going camping in the middle of the forest where I may or may not get attacked by bears.

    when i reserve a site, i just make sure that there’s showers (the ones that are outside, are ok) and non PortaPotty toilets.

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  7. Sarah
    Jun 12, 2008 @ 11:37 am

    I love “camping”!! My ex used to make fun of me for not wanting to sleep in a tent in the middle of the woods and shit in wooden box full of spiders. I don’t mind roughing it as long as there is plumbing!

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  8. poodlegoose
    Jun 12, 2008 @ 11:44 am

    I keep thinking about how much I’d love a “smoreo” right about now.

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  9. B2G
    Jun 12, 2008 @ 11:46 am

    Went I was little, we did full on camping. Tents, pooping in the woods, the whole shebang. I miss it!

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  10. Miz
    Jun 12, 2008 @ 11:46 am

    Fun stuff! I was just looking into reserving a spot at a State Park…It’s not roughing it, but a lot more private than a campground.

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  11. distracted spunk
    Jun 12, 2008 @ 11:47 am

    My parents used to have a camper. Every summer, we’d drive up two and a half hours to the campsite in upstate New York where we would swim, play soccer and softball, flirt with boys, and hang out in the arcade. There were tents and pop-ups too, but we had a legit camper. I’m not sure how much I’d like doing the “camping” thing.

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  12. Lisa H.
    Jun 12, 2008 @ 12:05 pm

    Girl, I’m with you. I call the real, roughing it camping “pee-in-the-woods-camping.” And I do NOT do pee-in-the-woods-camping. I don’t care where I sleep, or what I eat, as long as it does not involve squatting by a tree.

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  13. e.
    Jun 12, 2008 @ 12:14 pm

    My family’s idea of camping included canoes and the Boundary Waters. I think I would have preferred your style :P

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  14. Ben
    Jun 12, 2008 @ 12:39 pm

    [...Also, thanks to Oh How Lovely for reminding me that childhood camping trips can be revisited for major blog material...]

    http://bensprblog.blogspot.com/2008/06/i-blame-calvin-hobbes.html

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  15. Jess
    Jun 12, 2008 @ 12:51 pm

    Sissy camping is the only type I like. Also, the in-tents pun is brilliant.

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  16. Amy
    Jun 12, 2008 @ 2:00 pm

    I didn’t even know campsites where they lit the fires for you existed… LOL

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  17. Meghan
    Jun 12, 2008 @ 3:45 pm

    I miss the camps with the Pacman games.

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  18. Rebekah
    Jun 12, 2008 @ 6:23 pm

    Yay camping! We used to pack up the old minivan and our 1960s pop-up tent trailer and drive to Colorado, hitting all the KOA campgrounds on the way. Pools and shops with souvenir thimbles, man… the last outpost of civilization before we hit the national parks with no hot water and bear-proof dumpsters.

    You just brought me some good memories :o )

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  19. bFlat
    Jun 12, 2008 @ 6:38 pm

    I also went “sissy” camping in the UP (upper peninsula of Michigan). Our family trips camping are easily my favorite memories as a child.

    On a separate note, I told my Tolkien professor right before our final about how camping was intense…. he laughed and laughed. It might have helped my final grade, maybe.

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  20. Jessica
    Jun 12, 2008 @ 7:40 pm

    God I hate nature and camping. My idea of “roughing it” is no cable or internet. I mean who can live like that. If I want to be alone with my thoughts, I’ll go back to therapy.

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  21. margot
    Jun 12, 2008 @ 9:16 pm

    bahahah.. this is funny for 19 reasons for me… when i was younger i had an irrational fear of tents (like threw up from a panic attack if I had to sleep in one.. which was a LOT with my family)…

    i used to have that shirt to laugh it off…

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  22. libby
    Jun 12, 2008 @ 10:59 pm

    aww i miss camping. i’ve never been sissy camping. but the real thing wasn’t so bad!

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  23. erin
    Jun 13, 2008 @ 6:45 am

    I DO NOT camp. My former roommates are totally camping people and they can just not understand why I wouldn’t want to sleep on the ground or “shower” and pee in the river. The most camping I did was when I was a girl scout and I am perfectly content with never doing it again.

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  24. dmb5_libra
    Jun 13, 2008 @ 7:45 am

    sounds like my kind of camping! my girl scout troup was like “Troop Beverly Hills”, no joke. now that i’m older and love nature a whole lot, i would like to do the tent camping because i love hiking, but my one condition is that “home base” has to be on a camping site that has communal bathrooms. i aint diggin no holes to go to the bathroom. thats where i draw the line.

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  25. La Petite Belle
    Jun 13, 2008 @ 7:53 am

    omg! you are TOO funny. love it! I don’t do camping. I don’t care if you put a red carpet down for me to put my tent up- NOT HAPPENING. trust me, just fake camping sounds like torture so dont call it sissy camping! give yourself some credit.

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  26. Clarity Sage
    Jun 13, 2008 @ 8:16 am

    I don’t do real camping, real sissy camping, or even sissy camping. Roughing it for me is a three star hotel…which is why I don’t get out much. haha

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  27. Sara
    Jun 13, 2008 @ 8:53 am

    I agree with Claritty Sage. “Camping” is a Motel 6 and making s’mores in the microwave.

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  28. sandy
    Jun 13, 2008 @ 9:46 am

    I know EXACTLY what you mean. My childhood camping experiences were all from the Yogi Bear campsite, aka incredibly similar to what you just described. How funny! I don’t think I’d be able to do it any other way.

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  29. chris
    Jun 13, 2008 @ 11:27 am

    mmmm… s’mores….

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  30. Penelope23
    Jun 13, 2008 @ 11:48 am

    I love camping, but unfortunately, no one else in our family did.

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  31. JK
    Jun 13, 2008 @ 12:02 pm

    My childhood camping experiences were a mix of sissy camping and real, hardcore camping There’s ups and downs to both if you ask me. I definitely didn’t love not having a bathroom but I did love really getting into nature.

    S’mores were the best part of both!

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  32. Holy Vataha
    Jun 13, 2008 @ 1:34 pm

    HA! Love the image to go along with it….totes made me smile!

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  33. e.p.
    Jun 17, 2008 @ 9:16 pm

    Haha. I’m right there with ya! I don’t camp for the same exact reason, and if you expect me to, you better be providing me a good bed/air mattress and a bathroom in the vicinity. There will be NO peeing in the woods for this girl!

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  34. Holly
    Jun 18, 2008 @ 12:04 am

    Sissy camping FTW! :D

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  35. Annette
    Jun 19, 2008 @ 12:07 am

    I couldn’t agree more!

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  36. Allie
    Oct 30, 2009 @ 7:43 pm

    See, I can't handle the work of camping. I like it okay, but it's kind of a pain. I like backpacking. You walk until you can't walk, set up camp, make some crappy meal that tastes good because your hungry, and pass out until the next morning where you do it again. I love it. With camping, I feel like I'm trying to cook a good meal with crappy resources. And there's a lot of sitting around. I don't do well with that. Granted, we camp in a tent, but I think a pop up would feel like a lot of work too. Like trying to maintain the semblance of the comforts of home.

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