jamie ann

It’s about 5:30, I have 15 minutes left in my “dinner break” for my excruciatingly long CNA class. Ohh, I did get a cute teal stethoscope and  blood pressure thingy. It’s teal! Everyone else has ugly black or boring grey. Not me. TEAL!

I have 4 hours left of class.

Ugh.

At least I have my teal stethoscope.

I briefly mentioned the creepy cab driver in my previous chapter of my trip to Las Vegas. I think it’s time for the whole story.

The night we arrived, the boyfriend, his cousin and I decided we were going to hit up LAX in the Luxor, you know the big pyramid with the Sphinx in front? Well, we get all dolled up and are ready to go. I’m in my adorable black pointy toe heels and jeans that make me look leggy.  The boyfriend is looking incredibly good in some dark denim, white button down, grey pullover sweater and this amazing leather jacket. Seriously, I love it. His cousin, dressed similarly to me in cute top, jeans and heels. We catch a cab to the Luxor and walk in. There is this really swanky lounge area right outside the entrance to the club and we note we have to get a drink there later. Not many people are near the entrance, so that’s good, doesn’t seem to crowded. I wasn’t sure exactly where to go in because there was a few lines and like 5 big, mean looking bouncer dudes, so I just walked up to the nearest one. He tells me to hold on one second, but first that, “the gentlemen in my party would have to change his shoes or get a sport coat”.

Hold up.

Seriously? My boyfriend is better dressed that more than half of these douches waiting to get in, with their ugly button down graphic shirts and hideous white sneakers, but since they have a blazer on, they can walk right up. We get told he can’t go in because he has a brand new pair of white low top Converse on and is otherwise, impeccably dressed in a non-douchey way? How does that make sense? Turns out the boyfriend didn’t bring any dress shoes and it was already 11:30PM, so no stores carrying shoes would be open. We decide to catch a cab back to our hotel to gamble some and decide where we are going to go from there.

Walking out of the Luxor we grumble all the way into the cab about how ridiculous this is and the cab driver asks what we are talking about so we tell him. Cab driver seemingly sympathizes and says he can take us to the Walmart “just past the airport” to pick up a pair of black shoes. We say sure, because they airport was like 5-10 minutes away so it should be a quick run and then we can go back to LAX or where ever else. He was a young guy, late 20s, for some reason he had some RayBan like sunglasses on, BUT THERE WERE NO LENSES IN THEM?! First wierdo thing about him. Second, he starts telling us his life story, about his kids, blah blah. Okay, he’s just a chatty cab driver, fine, everyone’s had a cab driver who likes to talk. Right? Then he goes on about how he’s been divorced twice and this and that and we notice, we have been driving for awhile and start getting in to a residential area? I’m pretty sure on the way to the hotel from the airport, it definitely did not take this long.  Hmm. He’s still rambling along and then asks what the boyfriend is going to do with the shoes he is wearing after he buy some new ones. Good question. We hadn’t thought of that and we definitely don’t want to go back to the hotel and then catch another cab back to a club. We would spend most of our night in cabs!

Creepo cab driver has the answer and tells us this story:

One day he was doing something he really shouldn’t have been doing and had to meet with someone. He had a knife on him and didn’t want the people he was meeting with to find the knife on him. He decided the best idea was to ditch the knife in a McDonald’s bathroom under a sink. Goes to his meeting then picks up the knife after. Tells boyfriend he can just hide his shoes in a bathroom like he did.

The boyfriend and I look at each other, officially weirded out and wondering why this goddamn cab ride is taking so long. Creepo decides he is going to “help us out” by parking once we get to Walmart, stopping the meter and going in with us to pick out some shoes because he has to “help his man get some shoes”. I grabbed the boyfriend’s hand and relayed the fact that OMG I’M TOTALLY CREEPED OUT RIGHT NOW just by looking at him and I can see that he is too. He picks up his phone and pretends to call someone, “hangs up the phone” and tells creepo cab driver that someone is just gonna pick us up there and we are going to go grab some food with them, so there is no need for us to accept his generous offer. We say thanks and practically jump out the cab while it’s slowing down in front of Walmart.

Where does this leave us? Stuck at a Walmart “just outside the airport”, the $15 cab ride tells you exactly how close we were. So it’s almost midnight, we are at some random Walmart, can you guess what kind of shady characters hang out at Walmart at midnight? Seriously. We are completely overdressed in the shoe aisle, trying to decide on which pair of ugly black shoes to buy. We decide on the less of all evils, with the promise to hit up the mall the next day and find some decent shoes. Walking up to the register, we discuss how we are going to get back to the strip since no cabs drive by around here. Will pays for the shoes and we ask customer service to call us a cab, which they do, but it will be at least 20 minutes to an hour until someone can pick us up. Now we are stuck at a shady Walmart with ugly shoes, praying a cab will hurry up and come get us. Boyfriend’s cousin decides she has seen enough for one night and doesn’t even want to go back out after this, so the shoes get returned.

We made a pointless trip to Walmart to buy and return ugly shoes, wasted $30 on cab rides back and forth, almost were the victims of a serial killer cab driver and didn’t even end up going to any clubs.

How’s that for your first night in Sin City?